To forgive betrayal
by judooncaptain
Summary: The first in a collection of short stories about Ahsoka and Barriss. Ahsoka goes to visit Barriss in prison for one last time. In an attempt to understand Barriss's betrayal, Ahsoka opens up to feelings she didn't know she had. Barrisoka. Reviews always welcome.


Ahsoka stood outside the gates of coruscant prison. She had come to visit Barriss for one last time, to try and understand why Barriss had betrayed her. After everything they'd been through together, she had to know. Her mind was full of conflicting feelings; on the one hand she hated Barriss for betraying her trust and framing her, but on the other she still hoped that there was good in Barriss and that one day she might earn back Ahsoka's trust. Before she could become overwhelmed with these feelings, Ahsoka entered the prison.

A guard met Ahsoka at the gates and led her through a maze of hallways towards Barriss's cell. As she passed each cell, Ahsoka turned to see murderers, drug dealers, pirates and many other criminals. It was a horrific sight. How could Barriss belong in such a place? What happened to her to make her like these people. It pained Ahsoka to think that maybe her friend Barriss was gone forever, replaced by the person that tried to betray her. Ahsoka pushed that thought to the back of her mind. She had to hope.

Eventually the guard stopped and pointed to a cell. It was at the end of a hallway and was protected by a double ray shield as supposed to the normal one. Was Barriss really that much of a threat?

"She's in there."

Nodding her thanks, Ahsoka moved closer to Barriss's cell. The room was dark and the only furniture was a large metal slab, presumably a bed. The walls were all steel, completely barren. In the corner of the room, far from the cell door, a figure huddled on the floor. Barriss's head was completely hidden by the hood of her cape and she sat facing the wall. Obviously she didn't want visitors.

"Barriss," called Ahsoka softly. "Barriss it's me, Ahsoka." No response. Ahsoka signalled to the guard to unlock the cell. Once the cell door was open and the ray shields lifted, Ahsoka went into the room and knelt by Barriss. "Barriss please," she pleaded, "I want to understand what happened. I want to forgive you. Please just talk to me. Don't shut me out."

Barriss turned to face Ahsoka, "Why did you come?" She asked. Barriss's voice was filled with pain and guilt, " I ruined your life. I betrayed your trust. Why would you ever want to forgive me?" Barriss had clearly been crying. Tear marks ran down her cheeks and her eyes were red raw from the tears.

Ahsoka couldn't bear to see her former friend in such a state. Her normally confident face now looked weak and guilty. Her body was so weak that Ahsoka had to support her to keep her sitting up. Where had the strong person she used to know gone? Ahsoka had always looked to Barriss for support and guidance. Seeing her so helpless and distraught only made Ahsoka want to forgive her more. "What happened to you?" She asked desperately, "there was so much good, how could that have been taken away? I want to forgive you. I really do. Just tell me how."

" I want to tell you, but I need to tell you alone." explained Barriss, gesturing weakly towards the guard who had been standing by the cell door. Ahsoka looked at Barriss questioningly. "Please, you're the only person I trust." Feeling sorry for Barriss and desperate to know what happened, Ahsoka signalled the guard to leave who, after some protesting, left the cell quietly. Then, hearing the cell door lock, Ahsoka turned back to Barriss, waiting to hear her story. She could see the guilt in Barriss's eyes and wanted so much to forgive her. But she couldn't. Not until Barriss explained. Not until she understood.

"Everything went wrong on the mission to Drongar," started Barriss, "I was part of a medical team when I accidentally injected myself with Bota. The power it gave me made me lean towards the dark side, but I managed to resist it. But I became addicted. You don't know what it's like. It took over my life. I lost all control and it was horrible. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I never meant to hurt anyone, and I never wanted to hurt you. You were my only friend." Ahsoka pulled Barriss closer and tried to comfort her as she began to cry, the memories of what she'd done overwhelming her. " I'm sorry Ahsoka," she choked through tears, " I'm truly sorry." Barriss tried to explain more, but couldn't find the words.

Ahsoka now finally understood why her friend had turned. In some ways she was relieved to know that she hadn't lost Barriss and that good still lived in her. But she pitied Barriss. To have been through so much pain, all alone. To have suffered alone with no support, and to have hurt the people closest to her. Only to be put in prison for it. It was like a cruel joke. "You don't belong here Barriss. Your not like these people. Your good. It wasn't your fault." Now Ahsoka began to cry, she didn't want to leave Barriss in this place. She wanted to grab Barriss's hand right then, and break her out of the prison.

Guessing Ahsoka's thoughts, Barriss spoke up, "I have to pay for what I did. Whether it was my fault or not, I have to pay. And if that payment is to stay here and lose everything, then that is what I have to do." Ahsoka could see that there was nothing she could do to change Barriss's mind, Barriss was determined to pay for everything she did. But Ahsoka wouldn't let her suffer alone. Not again.

"You'll never lose everything," she assured Barriss. "Because you'll never lose me. No matter what anyone says, you're a good person. Never forget that." And Ahsoka meant it. She would never leave Barriss. No matter what. The two girls knelt together, staring into each other's eyes for some time. Before Ahsoka knew what she was doing, she leaned in and kissed Barriss. For a moment Ahsoka forgot about all that had happened, lost in the feeling of barriss' lips. The kiss only lasted a few seconds but Ahsoka would never forget it.

Ahsoka pulled away quickly, embarrassed about letting her feelings get away from her. She looked at Barriss, worried about how she would react, but Barriss was smiling. The pain had washed away from her face, replaced with confidence once again.

Barriss could see the slight embarrassment on Ahsoka's face. "There's no need to hide your feelings. We're not Jedi anymore." With that she pulled Ahsoka in for another kiss, this one much longer and more passionate than the last. Ahsoka was once again lost in Barriss's embrace. She wanted the kiss to last forever. She didn't want to have to leave Barriss here. "Ahsoka," Barriss whispered, pulling Ahsoka out of her trance "You'll never lose me either."

The two friends stared into each other's eyes, and smiled. All thoughts of betrayal and hatred gone. All pain and guilt was washed away. Only love remained.


End file.
